The Return

Can you imagine returning to your husband and children after being involuntarily stripped away from them for years to be beaten, raped, lost, and alone, to seemingly have your dignity, integrity, purity, and life stolen all over again?

What would it be like for her to return to her husband once again? Will she try to cover up the pain, tears and insecurities as if nothing ever happened? Will her calloused heart hurt others? Will she ever be able to have sex again? Will she be disgusted with him because of his sexual tension in waiting for her? Will she carry the heavy weights of guilt and shame with her or let them go? Will she experience the joy and hope of love and trust in him ever again? Will she ever be able to shine again? Will she remain in fear or walk in confidence? Will she see herself as trash or something worth for more than rubies and gold? Will she ever feel clean, pure and holy again? Will she ever be free to be herself? Will she hate God or run to Him?

What would it be like for a husband to receive his wife once again? A woman he’s loved, a perfect gift and treasure, now ravaged by wolves called men. Will he see her as that perfect gift in the same light? Or will he see her as worthless as a car on its way to the junk yard? Will he try to change the subject when she begins to unfold? Will he blame her? Will he care for her? Will he manipulate her into sex with him because his sexual tension is too strong to wait while her wounds heal? Will he leave her? Will he trust her? Will he desire her as he used to? Will he become her worst enemy or her safe and peaceful place? Will he wash and cleanse her with the Word, or will he, too, beat her with it? Will he cherish and understand her? Will he hate God or run to Him?

How will her children see her? Will they believe the town’s tasteless stories that mommy is a whore, a slut, and a nobody? Will they stand proudly next to their mom or shrink back in embarrassment, simply just not knowing what to do? Will they voluntarily open themselves up to the world that chewed her up and spit her out? Will they see daddy rejecting or embracing her and follow in his footsteps? Will they hate God or run to Him?

Worship song that came to mind after writing this:

MISTY EDWARDS

Take My Heart lyrics

For a long time I have waited for You
You have won my heart
I am following

For a long time I've been crying out for You
Tears make my heart soft I am ready for
The return of the Lover, the return of the Lover

Fashioned from the very fabric of God
At the start of time, set free to decide
I will love You, You're the One who loved me first
Just one look from Your eye, I'm captivated by
The eyes of the Lover, the eyes of the Lover

Take my heart, my mind and strength too
I was made for loving You

I will wait
I'll be faithful
I was made for loving You

He Knows Us That We May Know Him

HE KNOWS US THAT WE MAY KNOW HIM

I have this deep desire to be known... By God... by others... and even by my own self. I want people to know the joys and the sorrows, ponderings and frustrations, and everything in between. Well, the more I read, pray and sit with the Lord, the more I am coming to see how much He does know me fully. I'm also coming to see how much He too has the same desire, even more deep and passionate than my own, to be known by us. I've been reading a few things lately that I have found fascinating and life giving along this journey He has me on to be known and know Him. So, I wanted to share with you.

Hebrew - yada

“The definition of the Hebrew word yada is “to know, to be known, to be deeply respected. What an amazing thing God thought about sex. That it is to be something that causes us to deeply know another. Without alluding directly to the physical act of sexuality, this word points to the deep emotional quenching I yearn for in the act of sex. I’m not alone. Almost every female I’ve spoken to about this admits she isn’t really yearning for a physical touch in her sexual encounters but is seeking a deep emotional caressing. We want to find our guy looking at and studying us. We want to hear our name whispered. We need him to listen to our words with all his heart. We want to ‘be known.’” (c)

Genesis 4:25 - "Adam lay [yada] with his wife again, and she gave birth to a son and named him Seth." (b)

Genesis 24:16 - "[Rebekah] was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever lain [yada] with her." (b)

Psalm 46:10 - "Be still, and know [yada] that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!" (b)

Psalm 139:1, 29 - "O Lord, you have searched me, and You know [yada] me... Search me, O God, and know [yada] my heart." (b)


Greek – ginosko 

• to learn to know, come to know, get a knowledge of perceive, feel
• to become known
• to know, understand, perceive, have knowledge ofto understand
• to know
• Jewish idiom for sexual intercourse between a man and a woman
• to become acquainted with, to know (e)

“The Complete Word Study New Testament, by Greek scholar Spiro Zodhiates, defines the

ginosko as “to know experientially.” Interestingly, the same word “ginosko” is also

used for the word “know” in Luke 1:34, where the young virgin Mary informs the angel

Gabriel that she has never “known” a man in the sexual sense. In other words, the use of

this word “ginosko” in John 17:3 describes a very personal way of knowing a person.

Obviously, it is not in referring to knowing Jesus in a sexual sense, but it is definitely in an

intimate sense, and much more than just a general knowledge.” (d)


“While studying God’s word is something all Christians are called to do, knowing Jesus and

receiving eternal life does not come through intellectual assent alone, or even through Bible

studies. Jesus calls us to place our faith in him alone and to trust that what he did on the

cross is totally sufficient to save us. The Bible also assures us that we can know for certain 

that we know Him. Consider Romans 8:16-17, which says, “The Spirit himself testifies with 

our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow

heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him.”

His spirit testifies with our spirit to assure us that we know him personally, not just with

head knowledge or intellectual knowledge gained through numerous Bible studies.” (d)


Luke 1:30-35 - Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David. And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end.”

Then Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I do not know a man?”

And the angel answered and said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Highest will overshadow you; therefore, also, that Holy One who is to be born will be called the Son of God. (b)

John 17:3 - “And this is eternal life, that they may know [ginosko] You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent.” (b)


How beautiful is that?!! Jesus desires an intimate, mutual respect and honor between a man and woman in coming together in a relationship and sex to point us to the oneness He wants with us. So many times in John 14-17, Jesus discusses His desire for us to know Him and the Father, to be with Him where He is, for the same love in Him to be in us, to abide in Him as He abides in us... Elsewhere in Colossians it talks about "...Christ in us, the hope of glory." He knew us before we were ever created by Him. He knew Adam and walked with Him in the garden.

I truly believe the Lord is out to convince us how much He loves us, knows us, wants us to know Him and be with Him. He's made a way through Himself for us to be together once again. He knows us that we may know Him.

Do you want to know [yada/ginosko] Him?


Sources:

a) Him

b) The Bible

c) What Are You Waiting For? by Dannah Gresh – p.17, 23-25

d) http://www.newlightministries.com/Can_We_Really_Know_God.html

e) http://www.biblestudytools.com/lexicons/greek/nas/ginosko.html