How are you?

"How are you?" + listening ears + time = beautiful equation.

A short, generic, yet profoundly compassionate and loving question. It looks at the person eye to eye, face to face without distraction, interruption, or alternative motives. It seeks to uncover the internal workings of a person rather than focusing on the external demands and activities of life. Just plain and simple.

Or is it?

How easy it was for me to ask every other question I could ever ponder or conjure up to engage a close friend of mine. I asked about her roommate, thinking she had involvement with her birthday plans. I asked about her church's running fundraising event, thinking she was volunteering to help them that day. I asked about her family's holiday traditions for easter and if she had any plans. I asked about her conversations with a someone she recently befriended. Yet, I had ultimately failed to engage HER by asking, "How are you?"

I certainly learned of all the things she was doing, but I was missing out on learning more about who she was in that moment, what she was feeling, thinking, etc. So, thankfully, I apologized, and had the opportunity to redeem the moment to hear her heart.

The next day I found myself in the midst of a group of people I also dearly love and care about. We had our agenda but initially there was food and conversation. Everything inside of me was just waiting, hoping in full assurance that someone would ask me, "How are you, Becky?" and have all the true thoughts and feelings within me pour out. Then I would share about a recent "bump in the road" with my job transitioning. Things I look forward to sharing with people with whom I'm in community. Yet, just as my friend sat waiting for me to ask the question, I, too, sat waiting, feeling lonely, undesired, empty but full of everything I wished I could share. That short, generic question makes all the difference in the world.

My question now for you is simple: How are you?

Journey into the Deep

Some time ago I was encouraged to write a book or at least start writing more often. I used to journal ALL the time. Journaling seemed to be easy at first until I put expectations upon myself. Other times my journaling didn't have so much to do with my own thoughts or observations, but just notes of what God and others said that I found profound. Writing scares me. It's a blank canvas where anything can happen. Freedom at its finest. The only boundaries are the document margins from the left to right to top to bottom which are endless. No one can tell me what to say, how to say, how to act, except of course, me, which is generally my hardest obstacle. Emotions, thoughts, dreams, hopes, desires, frustrations... Everything deep within has the freedom to come forth into view, reflection, examination, and even scrutinization for all to see. More importantly, it allows the writer, me, to see for herself who she is from the inside out, rejoicing and facing the fears. I usually get choked up, mental blocks when I go to write. There's so much to process and share, though. I hope to avoid Christianese, scholastic lingo, and cliche phrases, unless of course I'm pondering and want to expound, with hopes that the real me, real thoughts, real relationship, real life experiences, real God and real love come forth, in all our beauty in the midst of the messiness of free will choices for both good and bad. I hope to step out in courage to not avoid controversial topics, share frustrations and differences from a place of humility. I hope to not come across as a know-it-all; if so, let me know! Feel free to challenge, question, comment, reflect, investigate, share your own experiences whether similar or different, whether you agree or disagree. This is not exclusive.

So, here I go, off on a Journey into the Deep. Lord, help me.