How are you?

"How are you?" + listening ears + time = beautiful equation.

A short, generic, yet profoundly compassionate and loving question. It looks at the person eye to eye, face to face without distraction, interruption, or alternative motives. It seeks to uncover the internal workings of a person rather than focusing on the external demands and activities of life. Just plain and simple.

Or is it?

How easy it was for me to ask every other question I could ever ponder or conjure up to engage a close friend of mine. I asked about her roommate, thinking she had involvement with her birthday plans. I asked about her church's running fundraising event, thinking she was volunteering to help them that day. I asked about her family's holiday traditions for easter and if she had any plans. I asked about her conversations with a someone she recently befriended. Yet, I had ultimately failed to engage HER by asking, "How are you?"

I certainly learned of all the things she was doing, but I was missing out on learning more about who she was in that moment, what she was feeling, thinking, etc. So, thankfully, I apologized, and had the opportunity to redeem the moment to hear her heart.

The next day I found myself in the midst of a group of people I also dearly love and care about. We had our agenda but initially there was food and conversation. Everything inside of me was just waiting, hoping in full assurance that someone would ask me, "How are you, Becky?" and have all the true thoughts and feelings within me pour out. Then I would share about a recent "bump in the road" with my job transitioning. Things I look forward to sharing with people with whom I'm in community. Yet, just as my friend sat waiting for me to ask the question, I, too, sat waiting, feeling lonely, undesired, empty but full of everything I wished I could share. That short, generic question makes all the difference in the world.

My question now for you is simple: How are you?